Nostalgia

I don’t remember any moment in my life that we have had a happy and laughing memories with my family. I mean, I have them both, with my sister and brother but they’re no longer together.

I was 5 and half when my mom decided to go out of the country to work and it was also the time when they’ve decided to have separate lives. They’re not married, no. And so that’s the reason why I am using my mom’s surname instead of my dad’s.

It was long ago, you know, and our hope of them getting together, has been vanished as time passes by. I’m used to it.

Due to this kind of set up in our family, at an early age, I have already practiced the life of being so independent. It’s sad, sometimes but I survived.

Now, I’m still stuck. I thought I’m good all along but the effects is still reigning down on me.

Maybe, I’m just looking for people who could actually give me a family-stable-love and guidance.

Or…

Maybe what I’m just trying to say is, I miss my family more than ever. I just want us to be happy… As a whole. But its already impossible to be whole.. Again.

And my dream when I was still a child of dancing with them for fun didn’t have the chance to come true. And maybe that’s just life.

Simple happiness :)

As one of my favorite songs goes.. “Can’t steal happiness…”

One of the greatest feelings in the world is not just love.. But, HAPPINESS. We all know that happiness can never be bought.

And I am just so blessed to feel happy today.

Today is Saturday, my Math day. I am not good in Math and I have been hating Math not until last Saturday. And I am thankful for another Saturday full of learning plus got to see my crush which is my Professor in one of my subjects (just an inspiration, haha.).

My minion friends are just so supportive even in my studies. You see..

Not only that, today I have welcomed another members of Den’s & Minion Friends! Another extra happiness!

Thanks to my Professor crush, he’s good in explaining the topic and so we are able to get out of the room that early.

Thanks to the rain as well and to one of my friends (who accompanied me), we  decided to drop by at the nearest mall. Since, we’re already there, time to do my favorite pass time. ARCADE!

My friend and I played in a game where you need to drop a coin which in return you will get lotsa tickets when you’re able to drop all the coins in a hole. ‘Twas so much fun that my friend and I were not able to think on how much money we’ve already spent. Too bad, due to excitement I was not able to get a photo of the game booth we played.

Nevertheless, we were so happy that we hit our bonus goal! As a result, for a couple of minutes this is how many tickets we have collected:

And I am really planning to collect more. I am targeting that cute-medium-size-pink-and-fluffy stuff toy! [wish me luck :D]

Now bound to go home. Tiring yet happy-and-productive Saturday.

Rainy-yet-fun-and-happy day it is! Finally home with a dirty shoe tip. Haha.

Happiness is FREE. Never try to buy it.. ‘Coz it can never be. 🙂

Life will always be wonderful.

It’s just a wonderful feeling you know there are a lot of people who loves you despite of all the circumstances in my life right now.

I feel blessed, for even these people are not very good in giving advice, they are giving me the greatest gift that they could give, which is their time.. to listen.

I will always be thankful.. Though I don’t have so much dough for now, I still got the best gifts from God. 🙂

Meron ka bang pride?

Ano nga ba ang kahulugan ng PRIDE?

Ayon kay mareng Wikipedia: Pride is an inwardly directed emotion that carries two common meanings.

With a negative connotation, pride refers to an inflated sense of one’s personal status or accomplishments.

Negative pride is usually present in a relationship. Most of the time, the root of all love quarrels of couples is because of mishandling of pride.

Karamihan, dahil ito sa kung ano ang narating ng partner mo. Halimbawa, kung mas mataas ang pinag-aralan mo, mas mataas ang pride mo sa relasyon. Kung mas mataas ang sahod mo, mas mataas ang pride mo. Minsan, nababase din ito sa edad at kung ano ang estado ng pamilya ng kapareha mo.

**Lahat ng ito ay pawang obserbasyon sa mga taong nakasama at nakausap ko sa araw-araw ng buhay ko. Lahat ng ito ay pawang opinyon ko lamang at wala itong papel na basehan maliban sa ugali at galaw ng mga tao.**

Pero tama nga ba ang mga kadahilanang ito? Ang rason ng mga taong sa tingin nila ay tama sila?

With a positive connotation, pride refers to a satisfied sense of attachment toward one’s own or another’s choices and actions, or toward a whole group of people, and is a product of praise, independent self-reflection, or a fulfilled feeling of belonging.

Ang positibong pride ay nabubuo dahil sa mga taong nakapaligid satin. Minsan, hindi natin kelangan pang magsalita, dahil nakikita nila kung gaano tayo kagaling. Sakanila na nanggagaling ang pagtanggap nila sa iyo.

May isang taong nagsabi sakin na ma-pride daw ako. Sa sobrang taas ko, hindi ko daw kayang bumaba. Napaisip ako, hindi naman ako nakakatapak ng ibang tao. Dahil lang ba sa hindi pabor sa kanya ang mga ginagawa ko, ma-pride na ako? Dahil lang ba hindi ako nagsasabi ng mga kasalanan ko sa harap niya, ma-pride na ako? Ganun ba yun?

Nagtanong ako sa isang kaibigan kung kailan nga ba ang tamang panahon at sitwasyon kung kelan ikaw ay kailanganag magpakumbaba.

“Lahat ng tao may pride. Pero depende na rin kung paano mo ibababa ito. Hindi sa lahat ng oras kailangan mong ibaba ang pride mo. Ang proseso nito ay hindi madali kung ang taong kaharap mo ay walang respeto sa iyo. Masarap sa pakiramdam ang pagpapakumbaba ng pride kung ang taong kaharap mo ay kaya ding magpakumbaba at alam mong walang ere”, aniya.

Noon ko naintindihan, na hindi naman ako obligado na laging magpakumbaba. Minsan, kailangan mo ang pride mo para maitayo mo ang sarili mo sa mga panahon na tinutuligsa ka ng mga taong alam mong hindi ka kilala ng lubusan.

Ang pride ay hindi negatibong salita kung ito ay gagamitin ng tama. Kung alam at naiintindihan mo ito, hindi na mahirap para sayo na tanggapin na ito ay parte na ng buhay mo.

Ikaw, paano mo ginagamit ang pride mo?

Paano mo ginagamit ang katalinuhan mo?

Bakit ba may mga taong sobrang talino? At sa sobrang katalinuhan, nakakalimutan na niya na isa siyang edukado.

Hindi naman masama ang pagiging matalino, tulad ng pagiging madaldal. Pero lahat naman ng bagay maski ang dapat gawin ng isang tao ay may limitasyon. Nagtataka lang ako bakit hindi makuntento ang tao na manahimik na lang at hayaan ang ibang tao na malaman kung gaano siya kagaling? Kadalasan, kapag tayo ay matalino at may pera, mas mayabang.

At sa kadahilanan ding ito, mas nakakasakit tayo. Minsan, hindi na natin naiisip kung ano ang lumalabas sa ating bibig. Tama na sa atin yung nasabi natin kung ano ang gusto nating iparating. At kadalasan hindi tayo marunong makinig, mas importante ang opinyon natin kesa huminto at isipin kung tama nga ba ang ginagawa natin.

Ang pagiging matalino, hindi pinagyayabang, hindi ipinapakita kung hindi kinakailaingan. Hindi natin kailangang magsalita ng mataas sa kapwa para lang masabi na mas nakatataas tayo sapagkat may pinag-aralan.

Ang tunay na may pinag-aralan, kailanman ay hindi nagsalita ng masama sa kapwa, hindi nagmarunong sa mga bagay bagay, tumatanggap ng mga pagkakamali at hindi mataas ang tingin sa sarili.

Dahil minsan, kung gaano kataas ang tingin mo sa sarili mo, ganun din kasakit ang pagbagsak mo.

Pero tulad ng oras, lahat ng bagay lumilipas..

Nakadilat ang aking mga mata.. Ngunit, blanko. Parang platong walang laman. Ulap na magaan na sa wari’y lumilipad. Ganun nga.. Iyun nga ang pakiramdam..

Nagulat na lang ako sa pagkakatulala ko, para akong nagising na lang bigla sa mahabang pagtulog ng marinig ko ang isang senyales. Isang malakas at nakakabasag na ingay.

Hindi ko maisip ang literal o kahit ang malalim na kahulugan bakit may mga pagkakataon sa buhay ng tao na bigla na lang tayo nalulungkot sa wala namang kadahilanan. Pero ang sabi nga ng isang malapit na kaibigan, imposibleng makakaramdam tayo ng isang emosyon ng walang dahilan. Apektado tayo, yun ang totoo. Kung anumang dahilan yun, maliit o malaki, naapektuhan tayo. Minsan, kahit alam natin ang dahilan ayaw lang talaga nating aminin.

Pero tulad ng oras, lahat ng bagay lumilipas..

Kung kaya, sa tuwing nakakaramdam ako ng mga hindi magandang emosyon, alam kong lilipas din ito. Imbes na malugmok at lumalim ang hindi magandang emosyong ito, dapat lang siguro na tulungan natin ang ating sarili na bumangon at iwaksi sa isipan.

Sabi nga sa kanta.. “easier said than done”, pero kung ayaw mong parusahan ang sarili mo sa ganitong klase ng emosyon, ikaw na mismo ang gagawa ng paraan. Huwag mong ikatakot ang mga bagay na pwedeng mangyari o mga taong pwede mong masaktan. Alalahanin mo ang isang kasabihan “you can’t please everybody”, pero may kasabihan din “but you can always please yourself”.

New beginning.

As the song goes… Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end. “


Nothing is permanent.. That, I’m aware of. I have had so much dependency that things will be on my way. But I did not notice that the things I never imagine could go along my way and hit me.

It was then that I realized that things change. As I resist the change within the road I’m taking, it gets back to me in return. Doubled. I can’t resist change. I should not. But it just hurts me so much. Yet, I can’t do anything but to just keep still and dance along the wave.

It’s not easy to deal with emotions, deep feelings if I mention. I lose my happy ending or was it really a happy ending? Sometimes, it’s no longer the happy ending but the happy little stories behind it.

All stories are not happy but it’s actually a choice if you wanna make it happy. Certain people will come along the way and hurt you, for you to realize things won’t go smooth all the time. And that, everyone is entitled to grow and change for the better.

Pain is the most effective teacher, indeed. Well in my case, I can say. It hurts so much, most especially letting go of the fairy tale we’ve built. I just have to let go… For if I return it will never be a lesson learned but is a lesson that never learned. Right there, you have already given that person the authority to hurt you again.

So stop. Stopping is the only choice. Stop the hurt and move along. For that, you just have to cut it and start it with a new beginning.

And no one is more responsible of this but you, yourself.