I don’t remember any moment in my life that we have had a happy and laughing memories with my family. I mean, I have them both, with my sister and brother but they’re no longer together.
I was 5 and half when my mom decided to go out of the country to work and it was also the time when they’ve decided to have separate lives. They’re not married, no. And so that’s the reason why I am using my mom’s surname instead of my dad’s.
It was long ago, you know, and our hope of them getting together, has been vanished as time passes by. I’m used to it.
Due to this kind of set up in our family, at an early age, I have already practiced the life of being so independent. It’s sad, sometimes but I survived.
Now, I’m still stuck. I thought I’m good all along but the effects is still reigning down on me.
Maybe, I’m just looking for people who could actually give me a family-stable-love and guidance.
Maybe what I’m just trying to say is, I miss my family more than ever. I just want us to be happy… As a whole. But its already impossible to be whole.. Again.
And my dream when I was still a child of dancing with them for fun didn’t have the chance to come true. And maybe that’s just life.