It was Monday of the usual week when I have had this strong feeling of going back to my hometown, but since schedule did not permit and my dimes are limited, I did not. I was never cautious about my feelings lately, maybe because I don’t wanna think negative that something is going on or somehow, I just don’t wanna think at all.
Monday passed and here comes the other day, which comes after Monday. Tuesday is not like a usual day, but not all the other Tuesdays. I was actually ready for bed and about to drink my glass of water and read my bed time book when a family member bother to rang me. Since it’s a little unusual to get phone calls at night (especially phone calls from home, you know), I answered. I was calm and internalizing how’d my day went and was actually ready for some news blast about this and that (moreover non-sense news about our neighbourhood).
It was actually not a voice I wanna hear (for at least not the tone) and it is never a thankful moment feeling that I got the news but its more of twisting my everything inside of me and makes me wanna puke. John passed away — my cousin’s husband who have been living a good life for just twenty three years! The mixed feeling which I can no longer contain never left me. The feeling of don’t want to believe on something though the universe has already been confirming. All the sadness made me weak, all the tears that I cannot expressed — all is in my heart.
That moment when you wanna do something for your family but you can’t do anything and all you can offer is your prayer. My heart cried all at once. My heart was crushed into pieces and as much as my brain don’t want to accept the idea has the same amount of avoidance to accept by my heart. Everything flashes right before my eyes — my niece, my cousin and her unborn child. I wish to hug them right at that moment. But it is only my prayer that have reached them.
Life is short and nobody can argue with that. Because when God planned you to be with Him, you can no longer say no.. But you just have to let Him.
Little did we know that a lot of things in our present-alive life on earth, we have been missing a lot, especially the small moments that can make our day brighter, bigger and can make us happier! Life is something you can never have forever and so we were told by these old grumpy folks that we should never take it for granted but make use of this divine life to do right and do share the goodness in you to others.
Life is awesome, for at least it is awesome when you know how to live clean and well.
Don’t always work hard, but somehow, sometimes, stop. Pause for a while and appreciate the life that you have with all the small and big things you have. Be thankful and pray harder.
Celebrate life and be thankful for every breathe.